Just as u know, something BIG took place in our 6 years relationship.
I had a cooling period with Ad in March.
We've been together for a period too long, coming 6 years?
I know him inside out and vice versa (I hope).
Yes, yes.
He's a nice guy, he's serious about me, he's filial, he's faithful, he's trustworthy, he's loyal, he's a no nonsense man.
He gives me freedom, he lets me do whatever I want.
He has improved financially over the years, he has got himself a good career, he has friends whom I've grown fond of.
He wants to get a house with me, he wants to marry me.
I love all these about him.
Most importantly, he is a Safe and Consistent man.
I'm asking myself if I'm ready to be with him forever.
Would I want to wake up without hugs to sleep every nights and mornings? Like seriously, he doesn't enjoy this kind of affections cos' it's HOT and ticklish.
Would I want to succumb to daily grumbles and complains that may arise out of anything, anytime, anywhere, unprepared? Would I want to sulk and feel depressed when he speaks a little louder than usual that sounded really intimidating?
I didn't like more.
I've loved him so much before.
I've wanted to marry him so much in the first few years.
It seemed more like….
The same reason I didn't like to attend some church services cos' it will bring me the Highs and Lows - to laugh and then cry. That's too much of emotions to handle in a day. It's tiring.
I'm losing my patience.
Is this love?
He's being himself, he won't change, he hasn't.
Does he really love me then?
Does he take my words seriously?
It has been a good 6 years my Lord.
Do I love him … now?
It was a breakup after my trip from Bangkok.
It wasn't due to anyone please (Stalkers, please don't twist my words).
It was the peace, the tranquility, the simplicity I got that I truly enjoy and yearn for more that I feel I couldn't get it from within our relationship.
Yes, there are happy days.
Any thing and any day can be make a bad day, leaves Ad angry, leave me crying.
Bad day means Extreme.
I know my patience has ran out.
It was like the last straw since that night we quarreled at Toast Box, Katong 112 over driving, over parking, over which restaurant to eat, that he raised his voice, intimidated me and my heart…
I seriously wonder if we were right for each other.
There were too many doubts running through my head.
Somehow the feeling wasn't that strong for him anymore.
I hate the fact he's quarrelsome and he doesn't wanna change.
He kept telling me his family is like this and that;
He was brought up this way;
It is normal to be angry;
Anger is a way for him to relieve his frustrations.
My patience has been tested.
Maybe someone else would suit him really.
U know, I am just not like that.
I need love to make me work wonders, to do my 200%.
I knew he's trying and he wanted a second chance.
I wanted to give him a chance so much…
God please tell me what I should do…
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