The Worst Quarrel To Date

Wednesday 21 May...
He made another comment about the bad jam at Hillcrest Road on our way to have lunch, that I should have told him about it & we could have avoided it.
Maybe its RIGHT to talk about what we SHOULD HAVE done.
BUT I mean, I am caught in it too. Least U can do is to get on with things and don't ALWAYS relate to what we SHOULD HAVE done cos' I'm the driver. Now the fault lies in me?! Not the jam?! Am I sensitive?

I have been getting the "WE SHOULD HAVE" kinda remarks for a long long time now. "We should have eaten this or that.... We should have went by that way.... We should have done that.... blah blah". It's irritating to have a partner grumping at past few activities and make ME feel lousy after completing those activities with him. Ok, to be fair, these remarks do not come as ALWAYS. Its FREQUENT.

I couldn't stand it anymore and just blarred and bawled things out with him.
He retaliated.
He finds himself not liable for commenting on situations.
His ex GFS don't detest him for complaining;
His friends & family don't reprimand him for that too;
in fact they loved him for who he is;
why can't I?
Now he is really afraid to speak to me on the slightest things,
that to him, is habitualness and normality,
and now, he sees a BIG problem facing us in this relationship.
It's hard to maintain such a relationship without freedom of speech, without being your true self, without the give and the take.

Upon hearing this, I just cried even harder.
I see his very point and has acknowledged it long ago.
I realised the potential in us not being together cos' of this difference in our character too.
I know I can't change anyone but I can just tell what I don't like.
I mean, complains are part & parcel of life, but it just makes a difference on the frequency one complains.
Maybe I don't complain.
I just take things as it is cos' I know for certain, I can't change anything that is not within my control. like... traffic jam....

and so..
no mood > teared > punched > stopped > buy > house > call > chocolate > ticket > appointment

Ok.. finally after a series of events, we seemed to have made up unspokenly when he wanted to go for CHOCOLATE with my friends tonight too.
Didn't really address the problem then again...
Until at night after movies, he msged me that he will try not to complain as much and seek for my understanding that its not gonna be ez.

*** well.. i know that my boy. i know i cant change u that completely but i hope its for the better that situations can improve...i'm not that devilish la. i'm just too rational like what Joyce puts it. i dun know how we r gonna carry on from here. guess just picking up the bits and joining them back into pieces again. we'll see...

*I AM DAMN SHAGGED*
I know big girls don't cry... i've just got too much tears to spare.
I know angry people need hugs... i will do it for one or twice or thrice... then i'll know that u r taking me for granted..