What's wrong with me???

I don't know... Just felt a lil tired at the back of my eyes... U know? The Lack-Of-Sleep Syndrome. My mind seems to have gone hay-wire tonight. Met up with B with all enthusiasm after work @ my area for dinner then wanted relax at home after that... but, ended up just not the right way we wanted...

Tension began to build up when I couldn't find parking lots, then when I finally did, I nearly knock against 2 passerbys. Yes, I was not concentrating enough. B had to say about my mood, tireness, if I'm tired tell him, he'll drive, or we should go up to rest, he'll buy dinner up, what if I really knock them down, we'll not be having our dinner, etc, etc. Anyone could have heard from his tone, he was not very happy LOR. I do feel bad about being reckless. After hearing more comments, I just have to say this "OUCH, It hurtsss!!!!! It pricked!!!!!" I wana have dinner with u, I dun wana go up, U Baddie!!!!

Saw Mum there, ordered Wanton Mee.. ate till the last few pieces of vege. Asked B to finish it up since they were just leaves (no stems). Healthy ma. (Thought he was ok with leaves?) However for some reasons, he didn't wanna wallop them up, so I did. When I lifted up the chopsticks to pick them from the soup bowl, B told me 'I ate a lot already' (???????? Just a few countable pieces of vege leaves what). In my mind: never mind la, don't wana eat already. I'm not gian beng.

Ya, the story is about to end... when I raised the issue of the vege thing again. B said this was domestic stuff. Next time we should not bother about what each other eats, then this wouldn't happen. Just felt that this was really besides the point. By saying that, wouldn't we be drawing further apart... instead of maybe 'sharing the vege together'. Didn't blame him. No one would at the state of mind utter tactful words after a chain of incidents happen.

..... I just couldn't control all of a sudden, I bursted out. I was frustrated things had to turn this way, and that suggestions made were not made to improve the situation, but in a way I find, would worsen things... B tried to tone down after I cried but said those words against the agenda, the words I didn't expect to hear > 'I'll send u to the lift & go home. I'm tired.'

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I know he wasn't happy now. I felt sorry for my part. I know. No mood for anything. I felt it too. No mood to please, no mood to smile, etc. I don't want us to be like that. I will make the 1st move. I will call U now and see what happens. :)

Thanks for answering the phone... At Jumbo with Michael... *sob*sob* Didn't tell me... Just didn't felt good about it... :'( It was supposed to be an O.K thing... but at this situation, I just felt kinda sad and jilted...

Sms B to tell him to enjoy himself, I'm tired and don't feel like chatting & gdnite.. then B called... didn't feel like talking, feel like crying more... told him I was in the midst of smsing him... we hung up...I continued with my sms... SENT.

*waiting for his reply* tick tock ...... tick tock ...... tick tock ...... tick tock............ 5 mins....................... 10 mins............ 15 mins............ 20 mins............ +++ No Reply +++

He's really BAD tonight. :'( but I'll still love him with all my heart...